Selfishness - The official 1st poll on Cup of Joe Photo

Polling is fun when a lot of people participate. I'd like at least 100 people to vote. Please take a moment to respond and have a wonderful day!!

Here's the idea to consider.

Oscar Wilde - “Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live; it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. And unselfishness is letting other people's lives alone, not interfering with them. Selfishness always aims at uniformity of type. Unselfishness recognizes infinite variety of type as a delightful thing, accepts it, acquiesces in it, enjoys it.”

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DIDN'T VOTE ABOVE.....

Comments

[Liene]

For the sake of the limited poll, I voted yes. I find the quote to be true to an extent, on an individual level. However, when applied to a large scale, sometimes change in action on the part of others is called for and it is our responsibility to demand it. For example, caring for the widow and the orphan and defending and speaking up for the poor and needy are biblical mandates. Calling for corporations (which are run by people) to stop unjust policies and practices they may be involved in in developing countries (sweatshop manufacturing, forcing female employees to have abortions so that it does not interfere with their work schedules (you may be surprised to learn which American companies allow this in their overseas operations), not paying workers fair wages, etc) is not only our responsibility as humans, but falls under sin of omission when we fail to speak up after knowing about them. Should these practices (selfish by the definition above) be allowed to continue, so that our actions remain unselfish by the definition above? Should we counter the selfish actions of these businesses by not interfering with the people running them? (In essence doing nothing?) That is part of the issue, because there are people on both sides: the management side, who are both allowing and turning a blind eye to what is happening, and the employee side, who are being treated unjustly and with barely anyone, if any at all defending their rights and speaking up on their behalf. So yes, diversity and letting people's lives alone is a GREAT thing. It is also an issue that comes with many layers of gray and is not a simple yes or no answer.

Sorry that's long! This issue struck a chord with me! :)

[ron storer]

Joe-

I first voted yes..then changed it to no...simply because I "felt" where he was going after doing a search on him in Wikipedia. I believe he is infering that we are selfish if we instill our "values" on someone else. I believe there is a Trojan Horse in this mentality that is hurtful. Liene statement above is right on.

In raising children we can unwisely give them what they "always" want...but what a price and what pain can come with it.
Selfishness is allowing someone to always do what they want without explaining the possible negative results they could experience. The purpose is not as a means of control but of love. It's all about how much do we care...how do much do we really love.

[Susan K.]

I do very much enjoy Oscar Wilde's writings, but I had to vote "no" here because I think he's not working with a terribly accurate definition (or he's deliberately turning the definition on its head to make his point that "caring" too much for others or attempting to change them to our own likeness is inherently bad, not "caring" for them at all, BUT....). Really the definition of selfish is ALL ABOUT *SELF* to the exclusion of what's good or proper for anyone ELSE. A selfish person by definition is only attentive to his/her own needs/desires/advantage and completely void of interest/regard for others.

[Joe Photo]

Wow, great comments on a deep subject! Thank you all for publishing your thoughts. As Liene stated, there are many gray layers to these ideas. The quote seems to me to say that Selfishness dictates to others while Unselfishness remains in ones own business. I frequently ask myself the question, "Who's business am I in?" when I'm compelled to share my opinion. If it's not my business, I try to remain silent and keep my opinion to myself. When I'm in somebody else's business, nobody is minding mine. So I've learned it's best to mind my own business and do the work on my own issues. This is much harder than it seems. I have a tendency to want to "correct" those with different ideas than mine. I try to practice Grace and Understanding now as often as possible. However we define it, I think we all agree that Unselfishness is the value to strive for.